After my public meltdown on
here a couple of weeks ago, I found that I still needed to blog, but I couldn't do it here.
I think that autism has a lot to do with that: the early years of this blog largely became the
story of how this family struggled to adapt to my son's challenges post diagnosis. Then I vowed
not to write about it anymore, but it kept creeping into my posts, as it is still completely
central to family life and how we live it.
Autism became the elephant in the room on here.
I can't write about it, but I can't write without it.
So I've started a new blog. It's a personal blog and it will feature Smiley, but there will be no
mention at all of autism.
If you're still interested, please contact me at stilllookingforbluesky@gmail.com and I will give
you the details.
The last ever 'Poor Me' post on here, I promise...
Another blogging
friend announces she's quitting and this blog sinks again in the tots 100 blogging index. I
seem to have lost my way, lost my confidence and even lost my interest in writing. Nor can I keep
up in with the relentless changes to blogging and social media.
I still jot down ideas, thoughts and even whole paragraphs, but rarely have the urge to write it
up. I just wonder if anyone will be interested in the now very crowded blogosphere. Unless I
promote it to death of course and that's not my style.
I still like doing the reasons to be cheerful posts each week as well as writing about Netflix,
and there will always be a place on here for others to tell their stories, even anonymously.
But that might be all, because sometimes this blog feels like yet another pressure in my life,
especially the need to be positive and find the 'blue sky'.
I know I'm becoming bitter and I know that's not attractive, and I need to leave it off the blog.
Yet this used to be a place where I could offload so I can be cheerful in real life. Now I have to
offload somewhere else.
My blogging also means that people assumer that I must have lots of free time, especially as I'm
no longer in paid employment, when the truth is that I am very rarely alone at home, even on
'school' days. Normally one of my children is at home and needs my attention. And the things I do?
Like blogging, Facebooking, watching Netflix, jogging, the gym? The main reason I do them is to
prop up my mental, emotional and physical health so I can get up tomorrow and do it all again.
If you asked me what I want to do, I wouldn't have a clue, I no longer know what I
like or what I want.
I told you I was bitter!!!!
Anyway, there will be no more misery on this blog, just the good stuff or coverage of specific
issues. Or there may be nothing at all. Less blogging, and a lot more caring. We shall see.
It's good to have a distraction when your summer does not involve sun, sea and sandcastles,
especially when you wish it did, and Netflix fits the bill perfectly. It's the silly season in the
media, with endless repeats, stand in presenters, stupid surveys and sunburn stories filling the
airwaves and papers. Not good and not a great way to entertain those of us stuck at home, whether
we're trying to relax, or even while doing the chores. But Netflix is, and here's what we've been
watching:
Stranger Things
No don't stop reading: I know that everyone is praising this series and writing about it, but
perhaps, like me, you thought you wouldn't like it? I saw the trailers and publicity and wrote it
off as another mild horror/psychological suspense series that would be too scary for me. Yes I'm a
big baby, but I don't need anything else to keep me awake at night!
But with so many recommendations I ended up giving it a try and despite being put off by the
opening scene, I was soon drawn in to the story, which begins properly as four young friends meet
up for a table top gaming session some time in the 1980s and one of them disappears on the way
home.
This is the most significant event to have happened in this sleepy Indiana town in living memory
and gradually most of the townspeople get drawn in to the drama, for good or bad, as more and more
strange things start to happen.
My memories will be of a distraught mother who is desperate to be believed, while those around her
think she's losing her mind, resourceful friends, an upright cop, evil middle aged people in suits
(a metaphor methinks?), superbiking, the loneliness of Middle America that reminded me of Winter's
Bone, a film I adored, and Joy Division's Atmosphere capturing the mood of one of the saddest
scenes...
Not to be missed, and there's already talk about a second series too.
Good Witch
I was prepared to dislike this show with its cheesy smiles, cliched lines and tired stereotypes,
but actually I enjoyed it, and best of all it stars 'Mike' from Desperate Housewives. Remember
him?
The Good Witch lives in the Grey House, a B&B, in another small American town. She doesn't
have a wand or mix up potions, she just has the intuition or foresight to engineer events to help
people with their lives. She does have an irritating tendency to speak in inspirational quotes and
a bias against coffee though, while two of the teenagers irritated me greatly when they used the
word 'cretin' as an insult, surely that is no longer acceptable?
Anyway a divorced doctor moves in next door and his son makes friends with her daughter. Teenage
rebellion ensues, parents struggle to cope, and a succession of guests at the Grey House with a
variety of problems keep the stories moving along.
I found it a heartwarming easy watch.
Rwby
My teenage son recommends this show, in fact he loves it so much that we're now watching it
together. It's a US series inspired by Japanese anime, the production values (as my son would say)
are not the best and there are plenty of plot holes, but it does have certain charm, and if you
have a child on the spectrum, they will surely recognise themselves in some of the characters. A
parent could get a good insight into the way their child thinks by watching it too, I would
think.
The story? Well in the first episode a bunch of oddly assorted teenagers are set various tasks to
enter a school for warriors, there's some impressive fighting scenes, but why do so many of the
female characters resemble extras from sleazy rap videos? Subsequent episodes have featured more
of the same, plus working through the usual crop of teenage problems.
Between
(Words provided by my 23 year old daughter who recommends this series)
Between is a sic fi drama starring Jennette McCurdy. It is set in the small town of Pretty Lake,
where there is a mysterious disease outbreak that kills everyone over 22. Due to the outbreak the
government quarantines the entire town and the series focuses on how these kids survive and fend
for themselves.
Jennette McCurdy plays Wiley, the pregnant teenage daughter of the minister. Jesse Carere plays
Adam, a 'hacker' who views the disease outbreak as a conspiracy from the beginning. Other featured
characters include a convict, a rich kid a farmer who has just enlisted in the army and the town
outsiders.
Soon we see the town descend into chaos as food runs low, young kids are left to mind themselves
and people turn against each other.
Upcoming series
I'm especially looking forward to season two of the South American drug series Narcos (release
date TBA) and also the techno-paranoia series Black Mirror, which is new to Netflix and will be
available on October 21st.
Whatever you watch, have a great summer!
Disclosure:
I have received free Netflix streaming, a streaming device and an iPad as part of my
membership of the Netflix Stream Team, plus a few summer goodies too! But all words and
opinions in this post are my own.
We're back on the rollercoaster here, with hopeful ups and devastating downs, but at least the ups
mean I have some reasons to be cheerful for this week.
The Sewing Machine
Through the power of blogging and social media, I have been offered a sewing machine, thanks to
Helen at The Busy Mamas. Mending and making
used to be a part of my life, and needs to be again: no-one makes clothes that fit Smiley
perfectly and my hand sewn alterations do not work that well. Her leggings regularly split too, as
they are not designed to hold adult nappies, and a machine sewn seam will surely last longer.
Hopefully I will be able to design and make items that you cannot buy in the shops, such as the
adult bed bumper I need to stop her side bars scraping lumps out of the plaster. And yes she needs
side bars to stop her rolling out. I might even get out my mother's old sewing book that I've kept
for years 'just in case'....
Beach Wheelchairs
Doing a clear out of the attic and finding Angel's old wetsuit - just in time for Smiley to try
out the new disability beach wheelchairs now available at beaches in the Dublin
area.
Running with my daughter
It was toe in the water stuff. Just 2.5K, but running (slowly) while pushing an adult in an adult
buggy certainly felt like a good workout! I will definitely do more of this. I enjoyed it, she
enjoyed it, we both got medals, and I didn't have to feel guilty for leaving her at the weekend.
So it's a win win. Now I just need to find some more fun runs that allow wheelchairs to take
part.
Cake
One of Angel's friends popping over and bringing cake! On the same day that Angel insisted on
bringing back Prosecco from the supermarket because "you only live once, Mum".
Trips Out
A lovely visit to Malahide Castle with my son. It looked pretty even in the rain.
Head on over to Mummy from the Heart for the reasons to be cheerful linky, and have a
great week.
I know that cooler temperatures will not please all my friends, so I will be celebrating with a guilty conscience. But a
heatwave is not much fun for this family. It's the only type of weather when my stage of life becomes
sweatingly obvious. The children don't enjoy it either, and none of us can sleep well, so to keep
the temperature in the house bearable, I mostly stayed indoors with the windows and doors open and
the curtains drawn trying to keep the house as cool as possible.
Now it seems to be over, so I can venture out more, and leave the curtains open!
So that's my first reason to be cheerful for this week's short post. Here's the rest:
The bed - a new addition to the kitchen
that is already making a difference.
The Rose festival - a lovely afternoon out with friends and Smiley too of course.
The GAA (Gaelic Games) championship matches have begun in the nearby sports stadium, so it's
getting very busy lively around here at weekends - and if I'm tired and busy, I don't need to
take Smiley far from the front door to keep her happy and entertained.
A couple of hours in a local pub with some friends old and new. Lots of laughter...
Taking a short break in Costa with a Mocha Latte (my latest obsession) and a blog post
popping into my head all ready to be typed up on my phone. Gotta love technology!
Hope you had a good week too. For more reasons to be cheerful, head on over to Mummy from the Heart who is hosting this linky for the month of July.
I've been pondering my nationality again following the UK's vote to leave the European
Union.
I've no passport right now, and I guess I was hoping they would become a thing of the past by the
time I got to travel again.
Instead it looks as though I'd better make some decisions, and join the queues to get passports
for me and my children, or our shopping trips to Newry could come to an end. Let alone any plans
to travel further afield.
Today my home town is Dublin, and has been for 26 years, yet I still haven't acquired an Irish
accent, and only last month I was asked once again how long I was staying on holidays...
So the home town I'm writing about today is a small market town on the English/Welsh border where
I grew up in the 60s and 70s when children still roamed free and computers were the size of small
rooms.
The town was built where three rivers meet in a bowl in the hills, so it has its own microclimate
and I learned to always ask about flooding whenever I moved house. We lived on a low hill, so
walking down town and up home was my life for 18 years.
You walked past the Hospital where my Grandad died and a nurse lanced my swollen finger. Now
closed. Past the Girl's Grammar school with its bridge across the road that linked the classrooms
with the main school building. The school prefects used to patrol the bridge with elastic bands to
press on any pupil who dared to try and cross with long loose hair. Still there, though perhaps
the hair police are not! Past the bus stop where the bus failed to stop one time when I was seven. Past the
houses where my friends used to live and up the steep hill to home.
When I was a child, our home backed onto fields and that's where I roamed during the long hot
summers. Because they were of course. I would wade through the cow parsley with binoculars
swinging round my neck and a sun hat bouncing against my back being Nancy from Swallows and
Amazons, or Laura from Little House on the Prairie. In the winter I became Lucy searching for a
magical door into Narnia.
The town became my life, once I hit my teens. At its heart is the market square, where stalls were
put up 'under the arches' every Friday, and two of the town's 17 pubs squared up to each other
across the cobblestones.
The record shop was there too, where you could buy singles for 30p once they dropped out of the
top 20. Yes, I was careful with money even then.
The cake shop where I got my first job and acquired a love of Chelsea buns and a work ethic that
has stayed with me since.
Behind it, the town castle I never did get around to visiting...
Between the square and the big church is a small narrow street that housed the book shop where I
spent my pocket money on Ladybirds every Saturday, the grocer's shop that delivered every week and
the tiny cinema where I screamed through Carrie and was inspired by Grease.
Lots of teenage memories from eating chips and curry sauce while shivering in the bus station
that's now a supermarket car park to parties on the island in the river behind the weir, or at
free houses around the town. Scurrying home from lighted window to lighted window after the street
lamps were switched off at midnight.
The magnificent views of the Welsh hills from the town and the gorgeous views of the town from the
hills. The annual road race up one of the hills to the monument at the top. The bluebell woods,
the flame coloured hill sides in autumn, the sound and sparkle of running water.
The show and the carnival. One of my best friends winning carnival queen. One set of traffic
lights. Cruising up and down the main street in my boyfriend's car.
My parents have died now and our home is sold. I still have friends living in the town, but
there's nothing left of my family except a drift of snowdrops in the church yard planted in memory
of my mum.
So that was my home town then, and Dublin is my home town now. Yet in many ways I belong in both
places. We're all Welsh now, as the BBC commentator said after the superb win by the Welsh
team against Belgium in the quarter finals of the Euro 16 tournament. I felt so much pride for the
country where I grew up. Nationalism is heartwarming and inclusive at times like that. But the
world has seen its ugly side in recent months too. I just want to be a citizen of the world, but
post Brexit I'm worried that I will be forced to decide between Ireland and Wales. Please don't
make me choose.
I've few photos of my home town, this is
the house where my grandparents lived.
I've added this to the #livewhereyoulive linky over at Where Wishes Come From, which inspired this post.
It's funny how appearances can be deceptive. I must've looked like a typical yummy mummy sitting
in Costa in my work out gear on Monday morning surrounded by shopping bags. Apart from the other
bags. The ones under my eyes.
But I digress. The bulging bags were full of cushions and throws from Penneys for my new bed.
Wonderful I hear you say. Well in a way. I did enjoy the shopping, I even enjoyed putting the bed
together.
But the reason I need one is all about my caring role. Smiley often needs me in the night and
despite a baby monitor turned up to full, I'm so tired all the time, that I often fall straight
back asleep when she calls me, especially as she generally chatters or laughs instead of crying.
Then if I do stay awake I find the trek up and down the stairs in the middle of the night
exhausting, and I'm only going to get more tired as I get older. So putting a bed downstairs
seemed like a clever plan.
I'd been idly looking at sofa beds on-line, and taking measurements and worrying about what would
work in the space, and then I saw it: a
fellow blogger with a day bed that she no longer needed. Once I'd waved the tape measure
around a bit, I didn't hesitate.
You know me, I have a terrible tendency to say yes to things without thinking them through. But on
this occasion, it was the right thing to do and three days later I was heading across the city
with my van to collect the partly dismantled bed, all the bits in labelled zip lock bags, so
nothing could go wrong. And nothing did.
Okay, okay, so you can still see a label in the photo hanging off one of the cushions, and the
throw I bought is not quite big enough, but it'll do for now.
Especially as it is *gasp* in the kitchen. Yes, I will be becoming a modern day Cinderella,
in order to sleep as close to Smiley as possible, but not in the same room.
A couple more things need to happen before I can move downstairs. In the meantime, my eldest and
youngest are already using it to lounge on and I am enjoying their company. Who knows, when they
see everything I do, they might even offer more help!
I also have a nice corner and I think this bed is going to make our lives better and easier in all
sorts of unexpected ways...
Miss E's Dream Horse from Petplan Equine
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Anyone who regularly reads my blog will know that Miss E is very crafty and
loves to make things and Miss M is animal crazy. It is hard to walk along
the s...
Writing Progress
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This week I have been blown away with the progress that Sasha has made.
I've already posted a picture of page 1 of Sasha's story about the Ancient
Greeks o...
What’s your story… Once upon a time in Paris.
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A couple of weeks ago I wrote asking if any of you would like to share your
stories of how you met the love of your life. Perhaps it was a love that
was me...
Lost in translation
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It's nearly the weekend and Tall Girl has 'volunteered', or perhaps been
press-ganged, into making chocolate and ginger mouse for the Dinner Party
on Satur...
Who Am I?
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I am the parent of the children you don't understand.
The child that rocks and flaps, but doesn't play with others.
The child that will stand alone, talking....
Reasons 2B Cheerful - Being Connected
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The sukkahs (booths) are starting to appear for the festival of Sukkot*1 *
*October and we're still going back to school*
I went back to the kibbutz school ...
Fish Pie
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As soon as the Autumn chill arrives in the air, warmer dishes appear on the
weekly menu replacing the array of cold suppers that were consumed during
the s...
50 Random thoughts from a SN mother
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1. So what if he loves watching Mr Bean. Every day.
2. I will be singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' forever.
3. I must get off my butt and introd...
The Special Needs Blogger Link-up awaits your posts
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*What to do if you're new here*
This is a place to share a recent favorite post you've written, or read.
Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this po...
From Pavlova to Pork Pies
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It’s done. I’ve published the book. Cue; nervous excitement and an urgent
need to know all the available toilets in any public space. It’s up on
Amazon ri...
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Yeah yeah, whatever, so it turns out I couldn't stay away. Just shush.
The SN blogging community has been in turmoil with accusations and
assumptions re...
Amsterdam in Autumn
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Visiting a new city when you have zero sense of direction is always tricky,
so it was fortunate that I had not just an experienced guide but members of
h...
Reasons to be Cheerful: Welcome to October #R2BC
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Now the baton has been handed back to me from Michelle I need to get more
organised! Hopefully folks will be joining in this month to help keep us
all ch...
An update - Four weeks after VNS Surgery
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When Hugh finally woke after his VNS surgery he was irritable. Although
non-verbal, he was able to make it pretty clear that he didn't want to be
there an...
Would you buy my book?
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Beginning to think that all you need to do to be an expert or activist or
have a voice is keep saying you are one and release a film or book. No
actual exp...
…
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It’s 3.20am and I wake up, needing to pee. Dilemma. I could do it now, or
maybe try and go back to sleep, it’s not that urgent. But I’m awake now and
my mi...
Goodbye Couch
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[image: I don]Long, long ago, when we first moved from the heady heights of
our 4th floor apartment in Dublin 2 to a rather more serious semi-detached
h...
Tips for Making Swimming Lessons Less Stressful
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Ask a parent what’s their least favourite activity to do with their kids
and you’ll usually get a resounding chorus of “swimming lessons”. It’s
all
the get...
The Antidepressant Scandal- Effect on Mind and Body.
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The medication of depression, is justified by the belief, in an unproven
theory, that depression, is caused by seronergic neurons, releasing too
little ser...
So Long September
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Was September the most ridiculously long month for everyone or was it just
me? I was so enthusiastic at the beginning of the month with back to school
and ...
The Realex Web Awards – A win for Science Wows
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Last week had some really big dates in my diary. On 28th September my
youngest child turned seven…. and the Realex Web Awards were on in Liberty
Hall The...
What’s in my Labour and Hospital Ward Bags
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I know packing for your labour and hospital ward bag can be a bit
overwhelming especially if it’s your first time. It can be hard to know
what you really...
Dinner Delivered
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[image: look-at-those-chillies-on-the-pizza-express-etna-cherishedbyme-com]
We spent many years living in the middle of nowhere, so if I’d forgotten to
b...
Being unique
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When you are a parent of a child who has a disability you have experiences
that other parents do not. For example, this summer Bridget’s social
program was...
Weeks 27 & 28: Repeal & Encapsulate
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Week 27 This week me and my bump went out to #MarchForChoice. I don’t
really talk politics on the blog, but it’ll come as no surprise if you
follow me on...
Today You Are Twelve
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[image: Twelve Today]A lady reminded me just recently that not long after
you were born, I turned to her and said: ‘God knew just what I needed’.
Those fee...
The Big Blogger Bug Hunt
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Sábha is minibeast mad, so when we were invited to take part in 'The Big
Blogger Bug Hunt' by Anthisan Bite and Sting Cream, she was thrilled to
take part....
Diabetic Days… High as a Kite
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Some days you just have to laugh. Because, if not, the alternative is
fairly miserable. Today I am rocking the death by diabetes look. I crawled
into bed ...
What’s gone wrong with the way we eat?
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I love to cook (most of the time), I like to try new recipes and taste
different things, and while we have had a bit of a lull in the garden this
year, we ...
Thank you for the freedom
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Thank you for the freedom
[image: Dominic Quantum iLevel]Most people are lucky enough to find that
freedom is not something that they need to be given, i...
Carrot And Courgette Pilaf
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Okay, okay, it’s not a pilaf in the classic sense of the term. This rice
dish isn’t baked in the oven, but it is cooked in the amount of time it
takes to...
Friendship after loss
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Three times I have now done this. The first was my cousin. Her beautiful
daughter died just 6 weeks after entering the world. I am not sure how much
of a h...
Genius Gluten-Free Breakfasts
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[image: Genius Gluten-Free Breakfasts]
We have various dietary requirements in our household – four out of five of
us are vegetarian and we have one who ...
10 Ways I know We're Back To School.....
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I really do enjoy the freedom of summer. The break from the relentless and
mundane school related routines affords self-granted permission to chill,
to ta...
Changing Directions
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The past year has been full of change for our family. Caleigh's long
surgery and stay in Boston is notably the biggest upheaval, but there have
been many...
Setting Off in Life
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The father of Henri Matisse, the great French painter, wanted him to become
a lawyer and was disappointed when he took up art. Parenting changes your
rea...
Fifty - not out
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Today I am fifty, I don't feel it at all, in my head fifty is a lot older
than me, which is clearly nonsense. It's been a strange birthday, I was
looking ...
Not holding out for a hero
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[image: HerMelness - Anti black Superwoman]Imagine. You’re on public
transport and someone lights a cigarette, blowing a cocktail of carcinogens
and nicoti...
Making a shopping Lyst
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As a busy parent I’ve always done a lot of my shopping online. But since
returning to work, and then … Read More →
The post Making a shopping Lyst appear...
Raising Funds For the PDA Society
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I have been a bit quite, to say the least during the past few months, for a
variety of reasons. Sometimes, the roller coaster that is life and all of
the ...
A bitter mother
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I don't know about anyone else but I am delighted April is over. I am so
fed up of awareness month and everything that came with it. I find it very
difficu...
This...
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*~"Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends..We're so glad you
could attend..come inside come inside.."~Emerson,Lake and Palmer*
...
Been too tired to.blog
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August - Feb it's a long one folks
So August you where an absolute bollox, hello September
Ls Inhome worker has left. The search for a new one starts, t...
My last blogpost.....here.....
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After 5 years of weekly blogging here on the Blogger platform I will be
moving to my new Wordpress home next week!! As the next five years open up
b...
Autism & The Little Boy in the Big Body
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The writing was on the wall several years ago that Finian would one day
outgrow his true loves in body, but not in soul.
About 3 years ago I could no long...
New Beginnings
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A very dear friend recently said goodbye to the blog for which she is known
and loved. A brave step, but the right thing for her. We discussed this
toget...
GoTo Goes from strength To strength
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At the beginning of 2014 we got a piece of kit for Boo that was a
game-changer. At the time, we were struggling to access the OT service he
so badly needed...
All The Leaves Are Falling Down
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As regular readers (if any are left!) will have noticed, my blogging has
trailed off dramatically the past couple of years and has become
practically non-e...
The minutiae of a random weekend
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*Dear Reader *
*I have been absent without excuses and now I am back just plunging you
back into the excruciating minutiae of my life without explanation....
She would have been 93...
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Mom & me on her last Mother's Day, 2012
I wish I could tell you this gets easier, but I can't.
I'm in the beautiful Betkshires and the sun is shining and m...
The Tale of the Missing Wardrobe
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In all the years I've been ordering and buying items from online stores, I
honestly don't think, in fact I'm pretty sure, that I have never received
servic...
We've Moved!
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We've moved to a shinier, brand new home at LeglessInDublin.com
Oooh! We will be writing up features, reviews and more but we will also be
inviting you t...
Our new blogging space….
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We’ve been away for a while, but now we’re back!! Come and visit us at our
brand new blog space – View From The Road See ya over there!!
Raising the Bar
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A few years ago I attended a talk called 'Autism Across America" during the
Family Cafe on Disabilities conference in Orlando. The lecturer was a guy
in h...
Up and down the slippery SEN ladder again
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My son started college in September. It isn’t going as well as we had
hoped. Poor communication and inconsistent support has led to him dropping
out. Ou...
Martin gets a surprise
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"Aw, I love the fairy dust in your hair, Dad" is what Holly said to Martin
last week after he shaved his head. She stroked his head, fascinated by
what loo...
What would you do...
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Like a relentless nagging whining child, a question keeps running through
my head in the style of the National Lottery advertising campaign where we
wer...
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