In two weeks time my son starts secondary school. I've spent half the summer so far working on his RDI programme and trying to organise daily activities, and the rest of the time burying my head in the sand and hoping it would all go away.
He's actually pretty positive about it, but there could be lots of potholes ahead. I'm just focusing on first impressions for now, as I think they're pretty important. His primary school has a great transition programme which introduced him to the secondary school, so he's seen it, experienced a couple of lessons and spent time in the Asperger's Unit, which at secondary level is somewhere the boys go if they are not coping in class, for whatever reason. So his first impression should be okay. It needs to be, as I think it will set the tone for the whole year.
Then there's the first impressions that everyone in the school will have of him. Basically I'm hoping that he won't stand out. I want his teachers to know about him, but not to notice him. For a few days at least! I want his classmates to like him, and see him as one of them. I still remember my first day at secondary school, and not in a good way. School began on the Thursday, but for various reasons I did not start until the Monday. I can still remember walking in, seeing the one empty desk, and 29 pairs of eyes turning around to look at me. It was not the ideal start.
So I'm now in serious countdown mode, which means rereading all the reports, and gathering together all those lists I've been making over the past couple of years and putting them in one place. I thought I might put some of them here: they might help someone else, and some of you might be able to point out something crucial that I've forgotten....
Here we go:
Uniform
My wallet is lighter, but the uniform has all been bought. It was the first hurdle, as he has never worn a complete school uniform before, but the secondary school insists on it. A meeting with the Unit Head persuaded him that it was necessary and after two fairly stressful visits to the suppliers, we have the school shirts, tie, trousers, a jumper, shoes and a coat. All I have to do now is alter the trousers, cut out all the labels and wash everything in gallons of fabric conditioner!
School Rules
I plan to see if there is a copy available of the rules so I can go through them with my son -- I cannot find them on the website.
Learning Needs
His last IEP identified a number of social, emotional, sensory and motor difficulties that hold him back. Many of these would not normally be tolerated in a secondary school classroom. Some are being tackled - it has been suggested that he use a laptop for his work as his handwriting is still slow and can be difficult to decipher. I am hoping that he may have grown out of some of the others - after all, he didn't have many of these habits when he was younger, and he has matured a lot in the past 12 months. Perhaps a new school and a new start will be the makings of him.
Some articles suggest that I should put together a list of his "issues" to give to all the teachers - but plenty of reports have already been given to the school. Do I really want to suggest that he is a "problem" child? Maybe I should give him a chance to prove that he can fit in, that he can knuckle down and concentrate on his work, and be friendly and tolerant of the other children in the class?
The saddest thing I've seen in all the reports over and over is that he says that he doesn't want to be a "bold" child. It must have been been said to him, perhaps over and over. I've always tried to criticise the behaviour not him as a person, but I'm not sure that he always got the distinction.
IEP
This has not even been mentioned so far, but it seems they are still part of the secondary system, so something else to chase up...
Getting to school
A school bus will be available, but sometimes issues on the bus lead to difficulties for the rest of the day -- so I'm still hoping that we can walk/cycle in together. That could be very good for both of us in lots of ways! Though presumably I will have to disappear before we round the last corner....
Organisational Issues
These have never been identified as a huge issue for my son, but these are some of the suggestions that I like:
- buying two sets of books, one for home and one for school
- using colour coded stickers on the books and the timetable
- get the timetable before school starts
- using a see-though pencil case
Lunches
I have seen no information yet at all on this fairly important issue!
Fidget "Toys"
These have still been needed during the summer - he currently favours my raffia mats, which means a lovely mess all over the floor of the living room every day!
We chatted about what he could use in secondary school. He knows that pen clickers are not popular with teachers or pupils. Any suggestions?
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So that's it. I am going to keep all my fingers and toes crossed that the school will make accommodations for him, and that he will make an effort to adapt to school life. I'm going to hang on to his positivity, access to his friends, and the security of knowing that he can retreat to the Unit, if he needs to - thanks Jen for the reminder x
And I guess that this really will be the last post about Asperger's. I'd love to chronicle the long road ahead but how do I do that and protect his privacy?
