I'm almost free

Or why things are not nearly as bad as you expect them to be....

The deed is done.  The court has stamped the second agreement.  And once the solicitors have finished their work, my finances will finally be disentangled from my ex.  Woohoo?  Well not quite.

Until today I was feeling very down.  I didn't feel like celebrating.  I didn't feel grateful.  And I know I should as so many families have lost their homes, and hopefully that will not now happen to me or my children.  And I feel guilty about feeling down.

You see as part of the agreement I've had to give up my dream of moving to a little house by the sea, which we bought - thanks to my job - with a mortgage in 2003.  It doesn't work for my two younger children any more.  But it did once.

Sometimes special needs sucks.

When I started writing this earlier, that was the end of the post.  But now the deed is done, I feel a lot better and a lot lighter.  I'm on my way out of separation limbo at last.  A chapter of my life has ended, but a new one is now going to begin, and at least I have lots of happy memories. 


  1. I am sure there will be another little house by the sea somewhere in your future and now you are almost out of 'separation limbo' your dreams are all yours again. Dream big honey and you never know where it will lead you. xxxx

  2. Never give up on your dream's :)
    I keep telling my self that! some day I hope we have our own house and room for a pony, I can dream and may be some day get it!
    Glad the day has ended positive :) and hey don't feel guilty you are only human and I think its normal to feel that way at times. thing is its a passing phase and your little family is the world to you

    xxx Niamh

  3. My dear friend, free is a wonderful word which expresses all the good things that are really important in life...I am so happy for you that you feel this now. Dreams are another kettle of fish entirely....I still have mine which every night put me to sleep with a big smile on my face....but if I had a choice I think I would choose freedom first...much love to you sweet woman X

  4. That really is a bummer, so sorry.

  5. It is sad when a chapter of your life comes to an end but what great memories your have with those gorgeous photos!! Here's to your next little house by the sea :)

  6. What Helen said.

    Here's to making new memories!
    *raises her pint*

  7. The sky's the limit - and I'm sure it will be a very sunny and blue one. Sending hugs xxx

  8. I think you have come such a long way and achieved so much with so many obstacles, you are an inspiration to so many. This is just a chapter in the story of your life, close it and move on. The fantastic thing is that you get to write your life story so write it and think about what word free and how finally your finances will be in your control. Remember you are capable of anything and everything, you need to set a new destination otherwise how will you know when you get there? lots of hugs Treasa xxx

  9. Look at the pure joy in your kids faces. They are absolutely alive in these gorgeous pics. Well done you.


  10. Love your pics on here of your children looking happy & carefree. You must feel so proud. Being on your own with special needs children is particularly daunting but as other posts have said in various different ways - as one door closes another one opens. Look forward to reading about the next stage of your journey. xx

  11. @Helen - yaay for big dreams xxxx

    @Niamh - I hope you get your pony too xxx

    @Foxglove Lane - you're right of course, freedom is priceless x

    @Di - it's life, and now it's done I feel better

    @mum in meltdown - yes, I'm now wishing I posted up more photos :)

    @Barbara - Sl獺inte :)

    @Donna - you may have noticed that I have a thing about blue sky :)

    @Treasa - yes, I'm enjoying writing my life story alright. Thanks for all your support xxx

    @marketingtomilk - thank you for your lovely comment x

    @Jane - Oh I'm glad you're enjoying reading here and I like following your journey too x

  12. I loved the photos. As always Smiley looks so happy. She is beautiful. The pictures cheered me up.

    I always wanted to live by the sea. In Ireland as it happens. With H, I don't see that happening now. Well not in the near future anyway. But never give up on the dreams eh? And I'll meet you for an early morning coffee overlooking the sea on the porch of our fully accessible, beach front houses (that are remarkably close to a hospital) in just a few years time! :D

  13. I know how you feel :) I hope you get your little house by the sea in the not-too-distant future!

  14. Oh I love all those pictures, thanks so much for sharing them with us. I see happiness in every one! Hope you are still feeling positive about the future now x

  15. @Little Mamma - you could actually do it in Dublin and some of the nicest houses are on the coast and still within 30 minutes drive from the children's hospital. I'd start planning now :D

    @Eithne - I hope everything moves on for you a bit more swiftly x

    @Steph - they're lovely pictures, but I'm putting them away now and I'll be taking new ones x

  16. I'm sorry to hear that. I've only just discovered your blog and have just been reading your About Me page. You children look absolutely delightful and I love the fact that you have got through the difficult teenage years with your eldest and how you are so close. The photos are lovely and thank you for linking up to Love All Blog x

  17. @The Perfect Romance Experiment - Thank you for reading and I hope I found the appropriate home on Love All Blogs for this post: I normally hang out in special needs x