I love my kitchen. But I don't want to live in it. Yet this Christmas it has often felt as though I was doing exactly that.
One morning this week as I stood at the sink I could not remember what day of the week it was. I have the domestic form of motorway boredom, I'm on complete autopilot, lurching from dirty dishes to smelly nappies to discarded clothes, and so the days were passing in a blur like the view from a car window.
Once again I'm restless, staring at the patch of blue sky above the rooftops that seems so far away and watching the ivy on the wall taunting me as it dances in the fresh breeze.
The children don't seem to mind, even Smiley is mostly happy about staying in the house. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Other Christmases have included trips to Wales or Wexford. Not this year. Perhaps it's just the loss of my Dad that is still so much on my mind. No-one is sick and we have got out of the house every day, even if it was just a walk to the shops. My plans for my son hit a roadblock when the friend he wanted to see was not available, and he refused to arrange anyone else over the next few days in case a new arrangement could be made. So we did nothing for four days.
Perhaps this is a case of welcome to the real world? Perhaps the new challenges in my life will be how to live a normal life, an uneventful life, where the mundane and the routine dominate as the days pass. Somehow that doesn't sound like me. I need a project, something new and exciting. I may even write about it here. So watch this space!
A lovely piece of writing. Know what you mean about needing a project. I've been thinking about a project or hobby as a way of coping with my days at home with my son.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about writing a book as you have such a lovely writing style?
Anyway, whatever you choose to do, I look forward to hearing more about it:))
Deb xx
I could keep you busy with other tasks while I cleaned house here! ;) A never-ending task, yes. At the same time, I have sometimes relished a stint at solely-homemaking. Your post-script shows - it did not last forever, eh? Hoping this year shows you lots of variety from looking out the kitchen window or into the bathroom bin!
ReplyDeleteBarbara
@Deb - Wow that's such a lovely thing to say :) I don't have the patience to write a book, there's just so many different things flitting around my head!
ReplyDelete@TherExtras - I hope so too
Oh I know what you mean. I've already started to feel trapped by our routine after the Christmas break. My twins are 18 months so they need a good nap in the afternoon still. It interrupts the day so much, there's not much you can do in the morning and though it's lovely to have the time to do bits and bobs when they're asleep I do feel trapped.
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of a project, can't wait to see what you choose!
by the way, if you get chance I'd love for you to link this up to my Tuesday Tea and Sympathy Linky if you get chance:
http://1978rebecca.blogspot.com/2012/01/tuesday-tea-and-sympathy-post-christmas.html
All my days are blurring into one another too. They always too on school holidays are there are no markers to differntiate 'work/school' days from weekends. but that's a WHOLE other post, right?!!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear about a new project fro you! Make that two...including writing a book ;-)
xx Jazzy
I often find that happens in my house too at mid term or other school holidays and it isn't intentional but my middle sons reluctance to do anything other than play Xbox or use his laptop is probably mostly the problem. My youngest one is never keen to go out so it takes some bribing on my part to talk him round, by the time I do the other one has changed his mind about going! Then we stay put and I feel guilty for not making it happen. When my first two were small we wer out all the time nearly every day and they played out all the time. This was before the third child came along. The middle ones reluctance only started at puberty at the time he was diagnosed with AS. I totally get what your saying about the having a friend over bit
ReplyDeleteWe've been stuck in completely since the 2nd. It's not that long really, but it bloody well feels like an eternity.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait till the schools are open again on Monday.
I need to get out, alone, just me and my camera for a bit.
It's been far too long!
We're having the same problem over here with winter break. No family to visit or to go to for the holidays. It's been nice but, well, it just seems different. And the weird thing?? They went back to school today and I missed them. Sigh.
ReplyDelete@Here Come the Girls - Thanks for popping over and commenting, and your twins sound lovely :)
ReplyDelete@Jazzygal - oops I meant to add that bit in about lack of markers, but clearly my brain is fried at mo xx
@popsie - glad it's not just me and yes all mine played out more when they were younger. I feel guilty too that I couldn't find a way to make it continue :(
@Marylin - I know what you mean and looking forward to seeing new photographs x
@Lizbeth - I expect the house will feel empty when mine go back too x
I knew you'd find something!
ReplyDeleteI always long for lazy days at home, and then always feel disappointed that they are nothing like I imagined them to be. They are not quite as peaceful as yours seem and the mess is beyond belief.
Sometimes it's good to stay in if only to remind you why you make the effort to go out though :-)
Thanks for sharing this in the blog hop x
@Renata - they're not always peaceful and the mess is out of camera shot! The Easter weekend has been like this - I keep forgetting the day...
ReplyDeleteYou've got to lay off the whiskey for a bit!
ReplyDelete@Renata - :)
ReplyDelete