My Dad, my daughters, the car and my son

My Dad

He is better, and feeling more comfortable, so he has come home from the hospice.  And as I was in Wales again during the week, I was able to drive him home, which was lovely.  Then on Friday night my brother cooked a celebratory meal for everyone, except his elder son and Angel who have both started university. 

My daughters

It was Angel's first time in charge of the house.  I was a little nervous....especially as it was Fresher's Week.  With so much on my mind all I did was leave a bottle of milk in the fridge, €20 for food, the phone number of the other keyholder and a reminder to unplug the iron and lock the doors at night.  But she was so sweet, even texting me in Wales to let me know when she got home after a night out.  I don't think I would have done the same as a student if mobile phones had been around in the 80s!

On my return the house looked untouched - by human or Hoover.  But no sign of any wild parties either, so I think it went pretty well.

And Smiley?  Well she is exactly the same....appreciative of every bit of attention, fully grown but very different.  Like the way she still has the hands and feet of a toddler:


I'm convinced that there must be another child like her out there somewhere.  Hopefully if I keep writing about her here, I will get some answers some day.

The car

Je mange mon chapeau...

My Citroen Berlingo is like a Tardis on acid and just as odd-looking - I'm thinking of calling it Noddy as its styling is straight from Toyland.   The space is amazing: It's half the size of the old car but I can fit in just as much stuff.  It will overtake other cars even fully laden, cruise along at 80mph * and still do 50 mpg.  It really is a recession-proof vehicle.  And it has a manual gearbox, which makes me almost happy to be driving it :)

* obviously I discovered this by accident when I was driving downhill and looking at the road rather than the speedo...

My son

There's only been one major meltdown from aspie boy since our epic trip to A&E.  It was on the evening of the day that my Dad came home from the hospice.  I suspect it was due to stress caused by overexcitement after spending the afternoon at his cousin's house, but knowing why it happened did not make it any easier to deal with, I was just so upset for my Dad - who was then exhausted the next day.  

It was the trip to Wales that caused all the problems, even though it was organised to suit aspie boy as much as possible.  He was very angry about everything, with a huge sense of entitlement thrown into the mix: 

"I'd better get something good for this."  

And,

"You're the one who needs a therapist."

And,

"I want the living room at home, it has a better telly and I deserve it."  

I am not going to tell you how I responded to that last one, given that the living room is a console-free heaven haven...

Even this morning he woke up angry, especially when he found out that the playdate I'd organised for him was only to last two hours.  But when I went to collect him I found I had a different child.  One who said good bye to his friend and thank you to his parents, without being prompted.  And later he helped carry in the grocery shopping, without being asked.  

Aspies.  

They always wrongfoot you!

12 comments:

  1. I'm glad the house was looked after.. one less worry. Thinking of you. Xxx

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  2. Glad to hear your dad is feeling better and that the house wasn't wrecked. We have this to come with our teenager - not a wrecked house but leaving her on her own. Not a step Im looking forward to to be honest. Good to hear your aspie son has only had one meltdown since the eipic trip but even one meltdown is enough, I find. PS we also have a console free room - bliss.

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  3. I want your car!
    Seems like things are *relatively* calm for you at the moment - this can only be a good thing.
    I didn't realise Smiley had an undiagnosed syndrome. I have worked with children who have very rare syndromes, but none with an undiagnosed condition.
    Cornelia de Lange Syndrome has small fingers and toes as a symptom, but that's obviously been rules out, as it isn't terribly rare.

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  4. It was lovely to catch up with what's been happening with you in this lovely post:-)

    I'm sure your dad was delighted to spend some time with you all.

    Your car sounds perfect as does your elder child's maturity and understanding!

    Smiley is gorgeous as ever and Aspie boy is as interesting as ever! I'm sorry, but I did have a little giggle at his reasoning!! I also had a big smile to myself at his behaviour after school:-) Well done Aspie Boy... I SO believe in you ;-)

    And as for you my friend... I don't know how you're managing all this but you are. And so fabulously too:-)

    ((xx))Jazzy

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  5. @Cherished by me - lovely of you to drop by and hope you're all okay as well xxx

    @Deb - luckily both Angel and I were agreed that she was ready...on the teen home alone thing, yes I will have that with aspie boy soon enough, and I think it will be too soon for me unless a lot changes.

    @LUCEWOMAN - Smiley's diagnosis is basically cerebral palsy and something else not yet identified. Since that is not very snappy, I don't try and explain it all the time. I'm sure Cornelia De Lange syndrome was ruled out but I will certainly check it out again.

    @Jazzygal - so glad that aspie boy made you giggle. And your comment made me smile, so all good! Xx

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  6. I bet your time with your dad was priceless. I'm glad he's back home.

    And I'd love to go back to a manual or stick shift. It will have to wait with kids though. I can't see myself trying to shift gears and manage them while driving.

    And I got a chuckle with the changing temperament of your son. Sounds soooo familiar.

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  7. am so pleased your dad is doing better lovely!

    (and that your house survived!)

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  8. So great to catch up with you (although now you understand why I've not been about much). So so SO pleased to hear the good news about your Dad, that fabulous.

    SO sorry to hear about the trip to A&E - I've just been reading about it, sorry I missed that post :(

    xx

    p.s. Your car (and Angel) sound amazing!

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  9. Now that I know about you and cars....well, that explains that I do not even understand what you said. Except that it was good. (Correct?)

    Thanks for sharing your family stuff, too - mostly good. I cannot offer any ideas on responding to your son. Bless you.

    I would not sign-off on a CDL syndrome diagnosis for Smiley. I have several blogs bookmarked - parents of children w/ CDLS - if you want them, just ask.

    Barbara

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  10. So glad your dad is home, and came home while you were there. Even if it was not the most perfect of homecoming (re: Aspie boy), I am sure it was nice.

    Nice about the house... you should trust her more ;-)

    Nice about the car.

    Smiley is a darling. Keep blogging, keep writing, something will come up :-)

    As for The Boy, concidering what you both went through "that" weekend, he sounds great.... and (if this is any good to you) I found him a darling too when I met him ;-)

    Big hug to you.

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  11. Glad to hear that your Dad is doing better and that your house wasn't wrecked. Hadn't realised your Smiley was undiagnosed. Have you heard of Swan (Syndromes without a name)? http://swanuk.wordpress.com/

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  12. @Lizbeth - I'm glad I made you chuckle :)

    @northernmum - me too :)

    @SAHMlovingit - your news really cheered me up this week xx

    @TherExtras - Thanks Barbara, I did look up CDL, but there's not enough similarities, but I always welcome suggestions.

    @Nan P - yes my boy can be a darling, I have to hang on to that thought x

    @Little Mamma - Smiley fits under the general cerebral palsy umbrella and that gets services for her, but the consensus is that she has another undiagnosed disorder, she is 'unusual' as her neurologist always says! Thanks for mentioning SWAN, they have a really great support group that I just don't have the time to really get involved with, but I did write a piece for them recently.

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